Mermaid or Whale??!!

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable
baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves
with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like
Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are
wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures
and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected
and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the
offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not
to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either.
Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish
store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my
friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information
and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out
to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I
will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.