Luke 2: 13-20

8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

15When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

16So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

THIS is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless,
Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
Thee fully forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou
lovest best.
Night, sleep, and the stars.

I will always grieve to some extent for my lost children. I will always remember my babies and wish beyond wishes that I could smell their smell or hold their weight in my arms, raise them with their siblings, enjoy them with their grandparents...But as time goes on, this wishing will no longer deplete me of the will to live my own life.............but I will never forget. Losing a parent is losing your past but losing your child/ren is losing your future.

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

Jacqueline Kennedy

Jackie's first pregnancy ended in a stillborn daughter, her last pregnancy she delivered a boy about 6 weeks early, he died two days later, 3 and half months later her husband was shot to death in front of her. Who am I to complain?

LOVE

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.







-Frank Howard Clark

“”There are many little ways to enlarge your child’s world. Love of books is the best of all.”



- Jaqueline Kennedy

"Grief cracks your heart into little pieces and that hurts, big time, BIG TIME. It's hard to concentrate, it’s hard to see, its hard to feel, it's even hard to breathe."

It is good to share this. I wish someone had e-mailed this to everyone I knew including my family.


When women experience the loss of a child, one of the first things they discover they have in common is a list of things they wish no one had ever said to them. The lists tend to be remarkably similar. The comments are rarely malicious - just misguided attempts to soothe.


-Don't say, "It's God's Will." Even if we are members of the same congregation, unless you are a cleric and I am seeking your spiritual counseling, please don't presume to tell me what God wants for me. Besides, many terrible things are God's Will, that doesn't make them less terrible.

-Don't say, "It was for the best - there was probably something wrong with your baby." The fact that something was wrong with the baby is what is making me so sad. My poor baby never had a chance. Please don't try to comfort me by pointing that out.

-Don't say, "You can always have another one." This baby was never disposable. If had been given the choice between loosing this child or stabbing my eye out with a fork, I would have said, "Where's the fork?" I would have died for this baby, just as you would die for your children.

-Don't say, "Be grateful for the children you have." If your mother died in a terrible wreck and you grieved, would that make you less grateful to have your father?

-Don't say, "Thank God you lost the baby before you really loved it." I loved my son or daughter. Whether I lost the baby after two weeks of pregnancy or just after birth, I loved him or her.

-Don't say, "Isn't it time you got over this and moved on?" It's not something I enjoy, being grief-stricken. I wish it had never happened. But it did and it's a part of me forever. The grief will ease on its own timeline, not mine - or yours.

-Don't say, "Now you have an angel watching over you." I didn't want her to be my angel. I wanted her to bury me in my old age.

-Don't say, "I understand how you feel." Unless you've lost a child, you really don't understand how I feel. And even if you have lost a child, everyone experiences grief differently.

-Don't tell me horror stories of your neighbor or cousin or mother who had it worse. The last thing I need to hear right now is that it is possible to have this happen six times, or that I could carry until two days before my due-date and labor 20 hours for a dead baby. These stories frighten and horrify me and leave me up at night weeping in despair. Even if they have a happy ending, do not share these stories with me.

-Don't pretend it didn't happen and don't change the subject when I bring it up. If I say, "Before the baby died..." or "when I was pregnant..." don't get scared. If I'm talking about it, it means I want to. Let me. Pretending it didn't happen will only make me feel utterly alone.

- Don't say, "It's not your fault." It may not have been my fault, but it was my responsibility and I failed. The fact that I never stood a chance of succeeding only makes me feel worse. This tiny little being depended upon me to bring him safely into the world and I couldn't do it. I was supposed to care for him for a lifetime, but I couldn't even give him a childhood. I am so angry at my body you just can't imagine.


---DO SAY' I am SO sorry!" and that's it!

Bye Bye Uterus!!

You nasty old thing, you’ve mistreated me!
I want you to leave, to get out, and to flee!
You have betrayed me you stinky old bitch!
So I am wondering, do you think my incision will itch?
You made me moody, you made me bleed.
You were NOT there in my hour of need.
You gave me the backaches, you made me sad,
So now you must go – I’ll need no more pads!
And now that the good doctors have heard all my wishes,
I can say, G'Bye Aunt Flow – you’re sleeping with the fishes...........

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day...

Walking in my shoes by unknown
I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. Most people they never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are mght make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don't hurt quite so much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

My BEAUTIFUL BOY

LIFE

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. -Abraham Lincoln

Psalm 94:19

18When I said, “My foot is slipping,”

your love, O Lord, supported me.

19When anxiety was great within me,

your consolation brought joy to my soul.

Grief

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
But I myself determine,
Just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
In waves of guilt and pain
But there are always quiet pools
Where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger
My faith seems faint indeed
But there are other swimmers
Who know just what I need

And loving hands to hold me
When the waters are too swift
And someone kind to listen
When I just seem to drift

Grief's river is a process
Of relinquishing the past
By swimming in Hope's channels
I'll reach the shore at last

~Cynthia G. Kelley~

Mermaid or Whale??!!

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable
baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves
with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like
Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are
wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures
and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected
and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the
offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not
to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either.
Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish
store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my
friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information
and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out
to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I
will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.

Rachael Video Project