I know he rescued my soul
His blood has covered my sin
I believe
I believe
My shame His taken away
My pain is healed in his name
I believe
I believe
I'll raise a banner
'Cause my Lord has conquered the grave
My Redeemer Lives
My Redeemer Lives
My Redeemer Lives
My Redeemer Lives
You Lift my burdens
I'll rise with You
I'm dancing on this mountain top to see your kingdom come
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Three Month Mark
It's been three months since Nicole died. Seems like I haven't seen her in years. We all miss her so much. I can still remember the night before the baby came we were all laughing in her hospital room and she was playing music off the computer. This ones for you she says to me as she plays an old rink jam skate song!
Most of us are handling it well, some are beyond words. The ones who are beyond words are, in my opinion, suffering from guilt. If they would forgive themselves for abandoning her when she needed friends I think they could handle her dying better and learn that life isn't forever. Don't leave things unsaid. Don't leave a relationship you want to keep, and if it's beyond your control and you've done all you can to make it right, have peace in that.
I miss you Kole. I miss your laugh!
Most of us are handling it well, some are beyond words. The ones who are beyond words are, in my opinion, suffering from guilt. If they would forgive themselves for abandoning her when she needed friends I think they could handle her dying better and learn that life isn't forever. Don't leave things unsaid. Don't leave a relationship you want to keep, and if it's beyond your control and you've done all you can to make it right, have peace in that.
I miss you Kole. I miss your laugh!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Blessings-- Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Grief
Grief is a crazy thing. Comes in waves.........It hit me today that I purposely do not watch the calendar from Valentines day on......My sister's birthday was Feb 24...I loathe March. I'm supposed to be celebrating my child's 3rd birthday in March, she died inutero in October 2007........I loathe April I almost died in April and lost the first of three babies........My husband declared the other day he hated Spring. I couldn't agree more. But since we are all currently grieving Nicole, I didn't notice any of those dates. Crazy. Usually I dread them. Next year should be interesting. My new years eve post was: Resolution
Heal.Deal.Dream.Love.Give.Cook. who could ever imagine the HEAL part would be Nicole. Life is crazy.
Heal.Deal.Dream.Love.Give.Cook. who could ever imagine the HEAL part would be Nicole. Life is crazy.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
UGH!!!
Okay I try not to complain ...............really I do. BUT I am sick of you PCOS(polycysticovariansyndrom) and I am sick of your symptoms. Sigh. Wondering if I can surgically remove my ovary myself.............hmmmm
To understand PCOS you must first understand insulin. Insulin is a hormone that
every human on the planet needs to survive. Its role is to transport glucose (our body’s
main source of fuel) into our cells where it can be used as energy. For example, let’s say
you just ate a granola bar. Since it’s a carbohydrate, your body will first break it down
into small glucose particles. Insulin is then secreted in response to the glucose particles
to put them into your cells where they are needed for energy. If insulin doesn’t do this,
glucose will remain in your blood stream where it can do damage. This typically happens
when someone has diabetes and isn’t controlling their blood sugar well.
The problem with extra levels of insulin is that insulin is also a growth hormone. This
means it promotes weight gain very easily, mostly in the mid-section of your body above
your belly button. This is why you may have gained a lot of weight very rapidly with out
changes in your eating or exercise. Some women refer to the excess weight as a “spare
tire” or “inner tube” around their middle. The weight can be gained despite maintaining a
physically active lifestyle and not overeating. Having elevated insulin explains why so
many women with PCOS are overweight: the more weight gain you experience, the
more insulin your body produces, and the more you gain weight. Thus a vicious cycle
ensues: Women who weigh more tend to experience more insulin resistance than
someone who is thinner. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.......
To understand PCOS you must first understand insulin. Insulin is a hormone that
every human on the planet needs to survive. Its role is to transport glucose (our body’s
main source of fuel) into our cells where it can be used as energy. For example, let’s say
you just ate a granola bar. Since it’s a carbohydrate, your body will first break it down
into small glucose particles. Insulin is then secreted in response to the glucose particles
to put them into your cells where they are needed for energy. If insulin doesn’t do this,
glucose will remain in your blood stream where it can do damage. This typically happens
when someone has diabetes and isn’t controlling their blood sugar well.
The problem with extra levels of insulin is that insulin is also a growth hormone. This
means it promotes weight gain very easily, mostly in the mid-section of your body above
your belly button. This is why you may have gained a lot of weight very rapidly with out
changes in your eating or exercise. Some women refer to the excess weight as a “spare
tire” or “inner tube” around their middle. The weight can be gained despite maintaining a
physically active lifestyle and not overeating. Having elevated insulin explains why so
many women with PCOS are overweight: the more weight gain you experience, the
more insulin your body produces, and the more you gain weight. Thus a vicious cycle
ensues: Women who weigh more tend to experience more insulin resistance than
someone who is thinner. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.......
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